Tips for Coping with your Fear
Learning to Fly at Ease
Deep-breathing works wonders! It sounds simple, and it is. Practice deep-breathing before and during your flight. Sit in a comfortable spot; place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly and notice the movements of both hands as you breathe. Now, try to focus your breathing low in your belly so that hand moves and the other stays nearly still. Do not aim for deep breaths; allow your breaths to be calm and rhythmic, rather than hurried or forced. Breathing deeply into the abdominal area allows relaxation to flow throughout your entire body. You might find it helpful to repeat a calming phrase such as “breathe slow and low” or “calm and smooth”--- whatever works for you.
Distract yourself! It’s literally impossible to hold two thoughts at the same time. If you’re concentrating on your Sudoku or a crossword puzzle, you can’t think about being afraid. Read about Britney, Brad and Angelina or about the Civil War…anything that you are interested in and will hold your attention. If you’re sitting next to a friendly person, stimulating conversation will keep you interested and time will “fly”.
Exercise: Even in limited space, you can easily perform stress-reducing exercises. Begin with your feet, curl your toes as tightly as you can and “hold” that position for five seconds. Now, uncurl your toes slowly, and feel the tension leaving your body. Repeat this exercise in you calves, thighs, abdomen, buttocks, arms, hands, shoulders and all the way up to your facial muscles. The act of tightening muscles and then releasing them has been proven to be an effective stress reliever. Try it and don’t worry about looking silly; the people around you won’t even know you’re doing it.
Get to know your crew: As you board, greet the flight attendants. If the cockpit door is open, pop your head in and say “Hi”. Rather than trying to appear completely at ease, let a flight attendant know you’re a novice flyer or feel uneasy. There is nothing to be ashamed of. The flight attendants deal with this every single day; they’re likely to check up on you and, thereby, increase your feeling of security.
Get Comfortable: Ask the gate agent to allow you to board early if that will help you to relax. Once seated, adjust the air nozzle, light or window shades. The flight attendant will gladly get you a pillow and/or blanket to help you settle in. Adjust your headset to listen to relaxing music or to watch a movie.
Acknowledge your Anxious Feelings: Remember the uneasy feelings and bodily sensations you experience while flying are normal. They are simply your body’s response to what you “perceive’ as danger. The body cannot differentiate between what is real danger and what is not. If you were to sit and concentrate very hard, visualizing being chased by a tiger or being held-up at gunpoint, you’d be afraid. In response to that situation which produces fear (which is only imaginary), you’re heartbeat will quicken, breathing will become more shallow and you may experience any number of other physical responses. That is exactly what happens when you scare yourself with thoughts of impending danger while flying!
The best news about anxiety is it cannot hurt you! You may feel your heart is beating quickly or you’re breathing a bit faster. Even if you are, these bodily responses can not hurt you. Do Not mistake the “feeling” of danger as real danger!
Monitor and Change your Negative Self-Talk: Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly talking to ourselves by way of our thought process. If you repeatedly tell yourself “Oh no, I can’t stand this, I can’t take it another minute”, “I can’t breathe (by the way you ARE breathing or you would not be alive)” or “Airplane travel is very dangerous”, it will have an effect on your physical comfort. You’ll be scaring yourself; why not tell yourself the truth instead? Choose self-talk like “I am getting calmer and I can certainly handle this.” Or “I’ve handled much tougher things in my life; I’ll be just fine in this situation.” Your body will react to strong, confident thoughts. You might very well find yourself thinking “Heck, this is no big deal” Or “I actually kind of like this”.
Face the Fear and Do It Anyway: There’s a great book by the same name, by the way. In this instance, some people find it suits them best to face the fear of flying and jump right in with both feet! They don’t “white knuckle” it, they take a deep breath, summon their courage and move forward – one step at a time. For many people this is highly effective. It’s like facing the bully in the school yard. He’ll keep picking on you until you face him. Once you face him, he loses his power (fear) over you. Perhaps you’ll have a new mantra, “Face the Fear and the Fear Will Disappear!”
Things to Avoid: If you want to aid your body in relaxing, avoid caffeine before or during the flight. Drink de-caffeinated soda, coffee or tea. Better yet, bring chamomile tea with you. Chamomile has been proven to have a calming effect. Do not smoke immediately before or after your flight. Nicotine is as much of a stimulant as caffeine is. Do not consume alcohol in an attempt to calm your nerves. Once the initial “calm” you feel passes, you are likely to feel more agitated than you were before the drink. Avoid unnecessary commotion, when possible. If you’re seated next to a group of rowdy party-types, ask the flight attendant to reassign your seating. In most cases, this can be easily accomplished.
According to the International Airline Transport Association (IATA), more than 60 Billion people fly annually, worldwide. And just like you, they make it to their final destination safe and sound!
Each time you fly and practice these relaxation techniques, you will feel more and more at ease. So, go visit your Aunt Gladys in Sioux City, attend that business meeting in San Diego or surprise your significant other with a trip to Tahiti! Don’t let this (or any other) fear control you; live life to the fullest. You can do it!!
Mary Wills, 2008.